


the best part of me is you

by sawolyukil



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, a lot of overthinking, sorry i do not know how to tag properly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:35:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25619719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sawolyukil/pseuds/sawolyukil
Summary: Mingyu doesn’t know all the answers to Seungkwan’s question but his answers never failed to make him feel enough
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 3
Kudos: 87





	the best part of me is you

**Author's Note:**

> yo im back yay i reached 2k words i can never write anything more than that HAHAHA anw i hope u enjoy 🥺

“Seungkwan-ah, I nailed my impersonation of you, right?” They were back at the dressing room to remove their makeup and change to casual clothes after their shoot packed up. 

Hoshi excitedly went up to him wearing that innocent smile asking for validation from the younger. 

“Yeah. You nailed it.” Seungkwan answered without even bothering to look at Hoshi. He busied himself fixing his things and removing the excess makeup on his face.

“Yah, are you okay?” 

“I’m just not feeling well.” Seungkwan got his hoodie on the the chair, covered his mouth faked a small cough.

“You should rest. I’ll call manager hyung to get the car now.” Hoshi gave him a bottled water before leaving the room.

When he saw their car parked in front of the entrance, Seungkwan immediately went in and sat at the back seat so that no one would disturb him. 

In a few moments, the members one-by-one entered the car. He was with Jeonghan, Hoshi, Joshua and Mingyu who sat across him.

He felt Mingyu’s hand held his right hand and froze for a second before retracting it and placing it above his bag. Good thing his face was covered with his hoodie which hid his face.

Their dorms were twenty minutes away from the shooting location and Seungkwan took a nap to shut the unnecessary thoughts in his mind.

Seungkwan doesn’t know what suddenly came up to him to make him feel really upset. He knows that everything they did a while ago was just for fun but he still felt a bit annoyed especially when Hoshi brought up the pilates exercise he did for a variety show.

He know he shouldn’t be getting annoyed but what Hoshi did since he originally did it but he couldn’t help himself be upset by it. 

The drive was shorter than expected and when they reached the dorms, Seungkwan immediately went to his room, shut the door and laid on his bed.

The rest or the members were freshening up changing into comfortable clothes before heading out again for the dinner celebration while Seungkwan lies on his bed face flat.

He heard a faint knock on the door and Seungkwan just ignored it until he heard Seungcheol call his name. The latter’s head sticking out on the door to check up on him.

“Seungkwan-ah aren’t you going with us?” 

“I’m not really feeling well. I just want to rest for now. I’m sorry, hyung.” 

“Are you okay? Do you want me to postpone the dinner?”

“No! It’s okay. Postponing it would be such a hassle. The producers might be in the venue. Don’t worry about me we can always eat with the members anytime.” Seungkwan smiled in assurance.

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, hyung. I just need to rest for now. I’m just not really feeling well.” 

“Okay. Drink medicine and call me if you need something. You always remind us to take our vitamins yet here you are, not feeling well.”

They just both laughed and Seungcheol left when he was assured Seungkwan will be well after a nice rest. 

When he heard the main door closed and the noise of the members died down, he got out of his room and went to the bathroom.

He finished washing his face and stared at his reflection on the huge mirror in front of him.

Lately he had been seeing posts and comments regarding how he lost weight. Of course the majority of it were the good ones from compliments to appreciation of his hard work. 

But despite the compliments, it was hard to miss the same old stuff that triggers his insecurities up until now.

_He still lookes bloated tho_

_Visual hole ㅋㅋㅋ_

_Seungkwan-ah why is your face so puffy?_

_Maybe his exercise didn’t work_

It’s not like Seungkwan hasn’t read those even before, heck even his company has mention it to him a lot of times.

It wasn’t new. 

It wasn’t knew but it still hurts. As if his hardwork as a performer was overshadowed by what his physique can offer.

He knows that his not just a variety guy. Seungkwan has established himself as a great singer and performer yet comments like these still get him and the feeling doesn’t change at all. It still hurts.

Before a tear slid down on his face, he heard the door opened slightly. Seungkwan immediately opened the faucet to wash his face once again.

“What are you doing here? You didn’t go with them?” Seungkwan asks as he gently pats his face with clean towel from the rack.

“Why didn’t you go?”

Seungkwan felt the warm presence behind him and he was briefly surprised when taller hugged him.

He put down the towel on the sink and looked at their reflection on the mirror. 

“I wasn’t feeling well. You still haven’t answered my question. Why did you not go with them?” Seungkwan locked eyes with Mingyu on the mirror while the latter rests his chin on Seungkwan’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to leave you here.” 

“I’m okay, I just caught a cold.”

“I don’t think that’s just a cold.”

“Nothing’s wrong, okay. Stop worrying.” 

Seungkwan sighed and faked a smile before turning to Mingyu to cup his face, “I’m really okay.”

Mingyu doesn’t believe him. Of course Mingyu has always been a quick-witted man. He would know immediately if there’s something wrong and Seungkwan kind of hates it because he can’t keep his problems from him.

“What were you thinking before I went in?” Mingyu continues to ask still not dropping the topic. 

Seungkwan hates how the taller knows his every act and expression like the back of his hand. He can’t really hide anything from him and he doesn’t even want to. This was his own issue to resolve and he doesn’t want anyone to get involved.

“Nothing. I was just tired of the shoot today. everyone was so hyper. Hahaha,” Seungkwan laughed as he buries himself in Mingyu’s chest

“You were crying when I entered,” Mingyu said tightening his hold on Seungkwan’s waist. A small gesture that made the latter tear up. 

He doesn’t really want to make a big deal about this. The fans were always there to support him and his members never failed to appreciate everything he does for the group. 

Comments like those shouldn’t bother him but his mind just couldn’t shrug it off. No matter how much he tried to veer away from those thoughts, he still finds himself stuck in a cycle of questioning his worth.

“hmmm? Look at you. You’re crying again,” Mingyu cups Seungkwan’s face as wipes his tears away. He couldn’t look at Mingyu directly because he knows he would definitely breakdown and Seungkwan doesn’t want that. 

Mingyu lifted him up and let him sit at the sink. He then squats a bit enough for him to meet Seungkwan’s eyes that has been avoiding him for a time now. 

“Tell me what’s going on your mind. You know I’m always here to listen, right?” Mingyu gave him a reassuring look as he holds both of his hand. Those words were enough to make Seungkwan release all his pent up emotions inside. He couldn’t contain the vast emptiness looming inside him. 

He wasn’t disappointed about what happened a while ago. He wasn’t mad at his hyung for copying his actions. But maybe it was the trigger from all that has been bugging his mind recently.

“Am I not enough?” Seungkwan asks still not look at Mingyu.

“What do you mean not enough? You’re doing well already, Seungkwan-ah.”

“Then why do I feel otherwise?” Seungkwan asks, this time looking directly at Mingyu’s eyes trying to find some answers. “Why do some people still don’t recognize my accomplishments? They only see me as the ugly guy in the group.”

“Hey, shhh. You’re not ugly, okay?” Seungkwan felt the frustration in Mingyu’s voice. “You’re the prettiest and the most handsome person I’ve met, you know?”

“You’re just saying that to comfort me,” Seungkwan avoids Mingyu’s gaze again and stares at his hands. He can’t bring himself to accept everything Mingyu says. His doubts were winning over the compliments he hears.

“No. That’s not true,” Mingyu lifted Seungkwan’s chin to meet his eyes again. He looks at the taller finding any hint of lies behind them. He felt bad doubting Mingyu. Of all people, the man in front of him would be the last person who would lie to him. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know the right words that will pull you up from your doubts and worries,” Mingyu pauses for a while trying to find the right words. “but you’re already doing so well, Seungkwan-ah.” 

“It doesn’t matter if other people says negative things about us, or about you. You’ve been doing great since our debut and you’ve proved it to everyone, even to yourself. I’ve been with you since our trainee days and I’ve seen how much you worked hard to be where you are right now.”

“Our line of work isn’t easy. No matter what we do, we will be judged by the public and there’s nothing we can do about that. But Seungkwan, their opinion doesn’t equate to your worth. You are more than the criticisms you receive and you continue to prove it even if you don’t have to.”

Even if he doesn’t say it, Seungkwan knows that a part of him always had that resolve to prove himself to everyone. That’s why it has been a part of his motivations to do better in everything that he does.

Mingyu stood up to embrace him. This was one of the moments he has shown his vulnerable side to other people and he was thankful that it was Mingyu who was with him right now. His warm presence felt safe. He felt safe inside his arms. He felt welcomed. 

Mingyu has always been Seungkwan’s safe haven and the older was more than willing to be one. Maybe it was the years they spent together that let them see each other’s flaws and insecurities and made them embrace it. They were each other’s missing pieces. 

They stayed in that position for quite a time until Seungkwan broke the hug. He looked at Mingyu and smiled at him. The taller planting a kiss on his forehead, down to his nose then to his lips.

“I love you. You’re more than enough, Seungkwan. And I won’t get tired of letting you know that. I love you and I hope you always remeber that,” Mingyu kisses him once again. He was more than grateful to have Mingyu by his side; to have the members and their fans by his side.

“I’m getting hungry. I’m now regretting I didn’t go with them,” Mingyu said jokingly as he lifts Seungkwan from the sink, the latter hitting him playfully.

“You didn’t have to stay behind. I didn’t ask you to,” Seungkwan says as he steps out of the bathroom.

Mingyu trails after him clinging onto Seungkwan who was heading to the kitchen, “I’m just kidding.” Mingyu kissed his cheek and seungkwan just snickered at his clinginess.

“I’m gonna cook food. What do you want to eat?” Seungkwan asks. He opened the refrigerator only to find out ingredients he doesn’t know how to use.

“On a second thought, I’ll just ask Chan to take out some food for us.” They both laughed at his remark. Seungkwan closes the refrigerator. He fishes his phone from his pocket when Mingyu stopped him. 

“Don’t disturb them. Maybe their busy eating right now. I’m just gonna cook dinner for us. Go sit there and wait for Chef Mingyu’s gourmet.”

Seungkwan just laughed at him and proceeded to sit at the dining area. He watched Mingyu do the necessary things; basically washing the ingredients, slicing, cooking and the rest of it. 

He thought of what Mingyu told him a while ago and it made him realize all the things he was grateful for.

_Maybe I just need to trust them better. Maybe I just need to trust myself better._

Seungkwan lifts his gaze towards the man busy cooking in the kitchen. He was grateful to have met his fans and the members in this lifetime; he was grateful to have met Mingyu. He was grateful to have someone keep him sane in this crazy world. 

_Thank you for accepting me for who I am. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for always making me feel loved and enough._


End file.
